March 2nd, 2019

Today in North Idaho it was sunny with scattered clouds with a high of 22 and a low of 3. It was windy and not a great day to be outdoors so I stayed inside for the most part.

Sorry for the long departure. I’ve been busy being busy. I recently had my ninety day probationary period meeting so I am clear to move forward in my new job. Also, I have been working between clinics and attending as many dinner/teach events as possible. I also joined a bunko group and a local women’s group that goes out to dinner once a month. Both are strictly social as far as I can tell and are great fun!

Last night I stayed at my daughter’s house and took the first ever nap with those beautiful little feet I have shared with you. He is now eight months old and is truly the sweetest little guy I know!! There is just something so honest and “homemade” about that kind of connection with your grandchild. I am blessed beyond measure. I just see his mind working and it takes me out of all my own thoughts and calms me in the very best way!  He started crawling a few weeks back and is now walking with the help of one of those stand up baby walker things that looks like a cross between a toy and an old people’s walker!  Haha

I have been studying for an exam that I have coming up in a few weeks and I’m nervous and excited to make that happen as I’ll receive a raise when I pass. I am also considering going back to school and researching how to make that happen while keeping a full time job. Exciting plans indeed!!

Life has been good and my priorities are in check. I have a few hurtles ahead of me but all hurtles I have placed in front of myself in an effort to grow and learn more about my own limits and boundaries.

I hope that you are focusing on the good things in life. That you are letting go of the things that don’t serve you or keep you from a forward moving direction. It is NEVER to late to start again!!! It is Never to late to be the person you want to be!!

January 19th, 2019

The Barn
The Barn

Today in North Idaho it is overcast with a high of 40°.  The attached photo is of an old barn that has been remodeled on the interior and is rented out for various uses.  I have been attended a wedding at this venue myself and that memory is most beloved.

I have taken many photos of this barn over the years.  However, this photo draws me in because at first glance it is cold, shaded and lacks detail. The air is chilly and still on this quiet morning while the world yawns and stretches getting ready for the day.  The snow appears crusted and the trees are sleeping that deep winter sleep.  Still my heart knows the grass beneath that snowy crust will be green and lush with children running here and there having gladly lost their shoes and socks.  The tress will be full and provide much needed shade from the summer heat.  The sun will shine high and warmly light all of the shadows and highlight the rustic architecture that brings so many people here to celebrate one of the most remembered moments in their lives.  Music, laughter and love live in this barn lying dormant until its doors are opened again.  I adore everything about these truths and how that speaks to my own heart.

The New Year has brought great change in my life.  My divorce papers signed makes a long and exhausting chapter shut.  And I find myself examining how I got here but not in this moment so much as how I have survived pain and abandonment in my life.  And this is what comes to me sharp, strong and with no little amount of fortitude:

Stand Up
Spread Your Feet
Stick Your Stance
Stand Your Ground
Shut The Door to Pain
Move Forward with Joy
Make Your Own Path
Be Better, More Determined, Stronger

When I look back I cherry pick how I got up instead of how I fell.  I try not to focus on who pushed me down, how I held myself down or failure.  I draw strength from overcoming that pain and that has become such a known characteristic of who I am as a person that I can move past negativity in its many forms.  Is it ever easy?  Am I moving forward at break neck speed?  Not at all.  But there is something about knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel that I can count on even when I’m in the middle of chaos and needing to reinvent myself.  There is joy there too!  I have such a great capacity for joy.  That great capacity coupled with the skill to evolve from the ashes is like magic!

So today I ask you to take a moment and recognize your own skills.  Know your own brand of magic and draw strength from it.  Brighten the winters in your life with the knowledge of your warmest light.